I have a friend who had her first baby a couple of years ago. I love her but to be honest and blunt, I don’t really like spending time with her anymore. ALL she does is talk about her son, whether we’re on the phone or in person. And if she does ask me something about me, most of the time she’ll interrupt me to ask him what he wants or to say to me “Did you just see what he did?” or “Watch him.” Then I feel awkward to finish what I was saying cause I know she wasn’t listening.
When we go out to eat together, she lets him eat off of my plate and just smiles at me. I don’t want a child whose been licking all over his fingers sticking those fingers in my food. I do love him but I miss my friend. It’s like now all she is is a mom, only a mom. Can we never get together just us two?
I don’t have children yet but I’m making mental notes of things as I’m learning them. Here’s the mental notes that I’ve made from this situation:
When I have a child:
1. I know everything she/he does will be so adorable to me and my husband but I’ll try not to interrupt people to make them take notice of my kid. I will just enjoy that cute mental snapshot for myself.
2. I will try and make sure that when I have a conversation with another person, half of the conversation is about the other person.
3. I will not call myself mommy or my husband daddy when I’m not talking to our kids.
4. I will not let my child eat off of other people’s plates.
5. I will not put a picture of JUST my baby as my profile picture on myspace or facebook. Putting a picture of her/him AND me is fine, but is it my profile page or my baby’s?
6. My husband will still be the most important person to me. I am certain that God and a strong marriage build a strong family. I know my kids will be so important to me and that I’ll love them more than I’ll ever be able to say. I know I’d be willing to die to protect them. But the order for me will go God, husband, and then kids. I’ve seen too many families and marriages fall apart because EVERYTHING was about the kids. The husband and wife didn’t take dates, didn’t make time for each other, and the kids ruled the house = not good.
Yes I want to be a mom. But I don’t want to ONLY be a mom. When I’m a mother, I will still be a christian, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a photographer, a (try-to-be) musician, etc.